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Small Moments
I’m watching cars approach the terminal when I hear a familiar voice. I turn to see my 7-year-old granddaughter sprinting towards me. She runs into my arms. A man watching the scene says: Someone is happy to see you. Which is part of the magic of grandchildren. They are so happy to see you. And it fills my heart. Her other grandma and I meet her for lunch at school the next day. She guides us through the lunch line–how is it always the same?–and takes us to a high table with barstools. Over popcorn chicken and rice, we hear about her morning. At the end of lunch, she arranges…
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Love Overflowing
The house is quiet and I’m at the kitchen table folding clothes. It’s been a long time since I’ve folded my son’s garments. Lay out, fold and roll, the way his dad showed me. It’s mundane, but in the stillness, it feels sacred. Something I’m grateful to do. I feel teary writing about it and grateful God gave me the presence to notice it. Memories collide in my head. I’m in Oklahoma, where I raised my children. We lived here in their early years. I’ve had moments like this the entire week. Snuggling Georgia — just 12 days from heaven — her eyes focused on my face for a few…
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Things I Learned from Walking 5 Miles a Day for 1 Year
Lately, I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with sudden thoughts. Things like jokes, ideas and writing prompts. After the idea strikes, I go back to sleep, but in the morning I remember. So far, I’ve followed up on everything. My first midnight prompt was what my husband should give up for Lent (we’re not Catholic). He was out of town and it seemed so humorous that I texted him in the middle of the night. The next morning, with a little clarity, I realized my joke was not that funny. Next, I had the idea to plan a fun week for my daughter who is several…
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Flashes of Light
Missing Home At the beginning of one of his early elementary school years, my son was nervous about going to school. He didn’t want to be away from home all day. My husband gave our son a small smooth red glass. He put it in his pocket every morning for weeks. It reminded him of home and of those who loved him. It was a tangible feeling of warmth and light. Have you ever hoped for light? Have you ever hoped for the Light of the World? I am the light, and the life, and the truth of the world. Ether 4:12 Flashes of Light In a “flash of light,”…
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Threads that Connect Us
We spread the quilt made from old Levi’s near the headstones. And set out the makings of afternoon tea: cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off, cubed cheese, goldfish crackers (like she used to serve her little granddaughters), raspberries and pastries from the local bakery. I like to gather two generations of girls for any reason, but especially for a tea party, something my mom began when the granddaughters arrived in bunches. After 5 grandsons, there were 4 granddaughters born within 18 months. More boys. And 3 more girls. The first tea parties involved dresses, Beatrix Potter stories, goldfish, Nilla wafers, lemonade and good manners. Now that my mom is…
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Pain into Beauty
I am a little girl, old enough to watch my younger brothers and sister, but too young to drive. I stand by the front window, the one in the dining room where I have a clear view of the driveway and the road in front of my house. I’m trying to quell a fear that my parents won’t come home. Not because they don’t want to, but for some reason outside of anyone’s control. Like a car wreck. I leave the window, with a knot in my stomach, only to return every few minutes to look down the road. Worry. It turns out they did come home, every time they…
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Retracing Steps
Scott and I are walking on a sidewalk uprooted by a tree that’s shaded the spot for decades. The street has houses on both sides, but the sounds of the city are all around. We’re in the town where he grew up. We turn a corner and he slows in front of the house of his elementary school buddies: 3 brothers. He remembers playing whatever sport was in season in the front yard. I can almost see the gangly boy in shorts and an OP t-shirt swinging the bat, making contact, and running to the grass-worn spot that was always first base. His face is serious. Even though it’s only…
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The Path of Discipleship
I was asked to speak at stake conference (a large church meeting that happens once a year). Invited to speak 5 weeks out, I had lots of time to study and ponder. Some of my best thinking happens when I walk (5 miles every week morning). By my calculations, I put 125 pedestrian miles into this talk. I loved studying some of Isaiah’s most beautiful prophecies of the Savior in the week leading up to General Conference. I loved listening to the talks of modern disciples of Christ. I loved my final preparation which was spending the last 10 days with 3 of my grandchildren, ages 5, 2-½ and 6…
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Growing Hope
I walk down the hallway of our new home. Morning light streams through the windows. I look out to our patio and see the pink hibiscus laden with blossoms. The hibiscus takes me to my mom. I wonder, “When are Mom and Dad coming to see our house?” I wondered for a few steps, like I really thought about it. This may not seem out of the ordinary unless you know that my mom has been gone almost 15 years and my dad has been gone 2 years. Then I remembered and felt a tinge of grief. My mom loved flowers, roses in particular. She planted rose bushes at every…
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Back in Time
Have you ever wished to go back in time? Maybe you want to hug someone you’ve lost or ask them something important. Maybe you would like to reassure your younger self or snuggle your little child who is now grown. At times like this, you might wish for time travel. I’ve traveled through time and space; it’s always been unexpected and it’s always been brief. But I’ve been there, in the past. Once it happened when I was walking in Austin, Texas with my son and his family. It was short-sleeved weather in spring. I pushed the stroller on a trail along Lady Bird Lake. It’s really part of a…
