On Sacred Ground

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Anyone who knows me even a little knows two things about me. My family is my orbit and my faith in Jesus Christ is my anchor.

My church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and its history are important to me. I’ve experienced most of the U.S. church history sites with my family and have lived near several of them.

When we lived near St. Louis, we were 3 hours from Nauvoo, IL. We took visitors 5 times that year. It is a place I love knowing.

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When we lived near Salt Lake City, UT, we were close to church history sites all over the state. It’s a place I love knowing.

Now that we live 2 hours from Kirtland, OH, we’ve taken visitors 4 times in the last 4 months. It’s a place I love knowing. 

There is something, well sacred, about sacred sites. In Kirtland, it is small and simple and special.

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On my first visit this summer, I am enamored with the trees and the beauty and the stories of real women and men. I think about small beginnings. I feel a spirit of open hands and open hearts. I distinctly feel something special in the Whitney Store. The woods of the Isaac Morley farm look and feel like the Sacred Grove. They share the same deep peace from the appearance of Diety.

My next visit is in August and we are still surrounded by green. I know the stories and love walking the path with my friend. I hope she will feel the essence of the place. She does. Again I distinctly feel the spirit in the Whitney Store and the deep peace on the hill of the Morley Farm.

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During my 3rd visit, the leaves have begun to change color. It’s fall and just as gorgeous as the green of summer. This time I expect the stories and the spirit. Elizabeth Ann Whitney’s words feel real, more like the experience of a friend than a historic character. I feel the sacrifice of real people. It’s past the summer peak visitor season and the places are more still.

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This time I receive an understanding of myself. I wonder how someone may respond to the story of Joseph Smith and his vision, had they not grown up with it. Would I believe it? As our guide shares his very personal experience, I understand something. He shared his reaction when he first heard these words:

And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father— That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.

Doctrine & Covenants 76:22-24

When he heard the words, he thought, “That’s right,” and he felt peace.

He recognized truth, not with his head, but with his heart. 

It reminds me of the time I receive insight about carrying twins. Once pregnant, I thought, “What if I have twins?” Several times. Then when the ultrasound showed two babies, I had a rush of feeling, of inspiration: “That’s right.” Not panic or question. But recognition of truth.

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My fourth visit comes with 2 friends. The colors are even more vibrant. We arrive home late after our day there. The next morning I awaken at 6:30 am and lie in bed thinking about the previous day. So many understandings and inspirations. After a while, I arise and record my thoughts in my little daily journal, my small plates.

Here are a few.

• To work through trials and difficulties, you must be willing to sit through pain, feel pain, let it come and wash over you. Not build a wall against it or resist it.
• The inability to sit in pain may cause someone to medicate with alcohol, drugs, porn, food, anger, or be emotionally absent.
• I see why someone may deal in anger with another person. Even if that person hasn’t done anything to intentionally hurt another. Sometimes seeing – or thinking you see – another’s easy way causes great pain. Maybe something they are represents a lack in you. If you are unwilling to feel the pain or acknowledge it or process it, the pain may be expressed as anger.

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Why these insights about pain? Maybe because this place is filled with equal parts joy (due to outpourings of the spirit) and pain (due to persecutions of those trying to build a zion community).

Maybe because life is filled with joy and pain. Maybe because we all know deep pain.

Maybe because part of our purpose here is to know both joy and pain and to learn to reach out to the only One who can truly heal. The One who made the blind to see, the lame to walk, the deaf to hear. The One who healed the woman – when she touched the hem of His robe- after 12 years of suffering.

Because I want to have that kind of faith. In Emmanuel – God with us. To be healed with the touch of His hem. Faith like so many who walked this sacred ground.